Gratitude

I don’t know if it is the new house, Alice, the knowing that now our family is complete I’ll never have another miscarriage again, the new space around me, the turning of the seasons, or a combination of them all…but I feel better than I have in a long time. Tired, bone achingly tired, but happy.

I know the last two years (and the year two years before that) were hard…but it is only now that I am starting to feel better that I am realising just how dark those times were. It feels like kicking to the surface after being underwater for a long time.

I read something online in the small hours whilst feeding Alice, about how our children absorb us, how we need to build our happiness brick by brick. It really struck a chord with me.

So I thought for a while I would start keeping a gratitude list, to remind myself how good life is, to train my brain to look for the positives, and to add to my treasure chest of memories. Here are todays little happinesses:

After her bath yesterday, Alice’s hair has gone all fluffy and is standing up. It looks so cute, and reminds me of the hair on those troll dolls.

Jessica was so absorbed in her watercolour painting today, and remmebered to ask nicely for more paper and clean painting water.

This moment…in bed with clean sheets, a sleeping Alice by my side in her crib, a cup of tea, and Simple Things magazine.

I could go on; Carl, my family, friends and home would constantly be on my list, but I want to keep to 3 a day…but I am grateful for so much more than that.