The back door is open, letting in the early spring breeze. A load of laundry is pegged out on the line to flutter dry.
I am sitting on the sofa in my dressing gown sipping earl grey tea and eating toast with marmalade. Medicine both for the soul and the wretched sore throat and headache which I am suffering with.
It feel a long time since I felt well. Suddenly, thinking about it (I never have time to just sit and think anymore) I realise I lost the baby in November and then have had a cough or cold coming or going ever since.
I feel the tide turning with the seasons, see the snowdrops, crocuses and violets nestled in the grass. There has been a constant vase of daffodils on my mantlepiece since February.
Walking home from work or an outing with Jessica, it is still light at 5:00. With the coming of spring, I feel my spirits lifting.
I started a ’40 Bags In 40 Days’ decluttering challenge for Lent. I have nearly finished the bathroom. It feels so freeing to just have the products that work and I use in there. I gave away all the samples I had been saving, the products I had tried but not liked but felt wasteful to throw away. It feels good. I am a natural squirrel, I find it hard to let go of things. But I am determined to go through the house from top to bottom and just keep enough. The things that work, the things I love. I live 5 minutes walk from two corner shops, 10 minutes walk from the main shops, 15 minutes walk from John Lewis. There is a 24 hour supermarket nearby. I need to stop saving things ‘in case’. I can’t think of many things I couldn’t get fairly easily and quickly if I needed to. And yet the urge to hold on to things is strong.
I keep things ‘in case’, because they were gifts, because I spent money on them, because I attach memories and feelings to things.
I’ll never be a minimalist, but it is time for this squirrel lady to get her stores in order!
It isn’t just the winter into spring which is a season turning. At the end of the month I turn 35. I feel the coming pulling tide of my own change of season. It feels signifcant this year. Like I should have decided who I am, what I want to do, to be. Much of our home is almost accidental. Things just are. I want more intention in our home, more design raher than patterns we have just fallen in to.
I feel like everything is in bud at the moment, ready to unfurl and blossom.
Happy spring, everybody!