At Last

At last, the clock has chimed, the year has turned. I can breathe again. The pain isn’t any less, but I can say now that I lost my baby last year, not last month. I lost my Dad last year. I can start to look ahead again, move forward.

2016 was a hard year for me. I dread to think how many hours Carl worked, how much time we lost.

But the sun rises and sets, the moon rises to watch over us through the night, the stars twinkle, and then the cycle begins again. Gently, slowly, we are ushered in to a new minute, a new hour, a new day, a new year, a new life.

This year is going to be a slower, simpler, more joyful year for me. Of paring back so I can more fully embrace and enjoy what remains. I’ve been doing a lot of reading and thinking and learning lately. Celebrate the Rhythm of Life has widened and deepens my understanding of Steiner Waldorf philosophy and the importance of rhythm in our lives. I feel like I have spent the best part of a year drawing that information in and percolating it, and that now it is time to start living it.

I was laying in a candlelit bath just now, thinking of all the good things which lay in the year ahead. All the things I want to do with my little family, the meals to cook, the celebrations, special days, little happy moments to create. While I was thinking ahead over the year a thought came unbidden into my mind. It seemed to rise up from somewhere deep inside me.

This will be my love letter to the new year.

No resolutions for pounds lost or saved or miles run or things given up. I will take this gift of a fresh year, and use it well. This will be my reason, my all. To write a song of seasons melding into each other, of quiet cups of tea savoured and sipped, of chubby little starfish hands being stroked, of strawberries being picked, of candles being lit. A litany of breathing in her smell, warm from the bath. Of serving summer salads and roasted winter roots. Of hot baths and cool iced tea. Autumn leaves falling. Daffodils dancing in the breeze.

Join me in living and loving this year to the full?

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One thought on “At Last

  1. Beautifully written. Wishing you a wonderful 2017. Some years are harder than others, and I’m always glad to see them end. Like a closed chapter in the book of my life.

    You are already a writer, and I do believe you have a gift. I hope you will consider creating something for publication, if you have not done already.

    When I read your posts I think of the Miss Read stories. The way you write here is similar. Those stories/books paint a picture of village life; of her life in general. You do similarly here in your blog posts. Or you might prefer some other kind of writing.

    I asked my daughter, who also reads your blog and has a degree in English, is very well read, an excellent writer, and a tough critic when asked for opinion, what she thought; and she agrees with me about your gift for writing. And she too mentioned Miss Read even though I had not mentioned Miss Read.

    So, for what it’s worth, two strangers think you have a talent for writing. Perhaps it is your destiny?

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