You can probably blame all the rain we have been having on me…it has been reflecting my mood recently. I am sure in the future I will look back on the last few weeks and see things differently, but for now I am struggling to cope with some changes.
I won’t go into too much detail as I really want this to be a lovely place to visit, but I decided I had to explain why I have been silent so long. You see, the doctors are unable to tell me with certainty if I am pregnant or suffering from cysts on my ovaries. The long list of symptoms I told the doctor made him think I was pregnant, to the point of getting out his little wheel thing to predict the due date of the baby. When I failed the test, he slid it back into a drawer and called a colleague who put forward the cysts theory. I have been for blood tests and I get those results in a week. From there, who knows? The worst thing, apart from the awful nausea is the not knowing. I don’t want to get attached to a baby that does not exist, but neither do cyst-adorned ovaries fill me with joy.
In the spirit of change I left work the other evening and walked straight into the hairdresser and had my hair cut. It is still longer than my profile picture, but is a lot shorter than it was. I like it better now it has some shape. It is a 30’s style bob, and I feel like I should be wearing nightie-dresses and sparkly jewellery.
I feel tired by happy this evening, as we have had a real turn-out of our living room. Every single thing has been moved, cleaned, dusted or hoovered. We are soon to be taking delivery of a lovely new home for our little snake, and to fit it in, everything had to move. The writing desk is now where the snake was, who is now where the tv was. the tv is where the book cases were, which are now where the sofa was! I have rearranged every book I own, and made a dispaly of our wedding photograph, the wedding photographs of our parents, Carl’s dried buttonhole, and a pretty pink polka-dotted tea cup candle.
We have a lavender candle burning, and I am trying to feel positive. I have felt soothed just sitting and blogging again, and visting some of my favourite blogs, so I will not be away so long again.
I think I hear the kettle whistling…..cup of tea for you?